Radioactive Quill

Jessica Ahlquist

2012-01-30T00:29:00.003-05:00

I haven't posted much about Jessica Ahlquist for the simple reason that listening to hordes of Christians bully and threaten a 16-year-old is more than my stomach can take.

To the people who want Jessica to suffer a horrible demise: Do you feel that you're suffering more from a case of Inquisition Nostalgia, or from a case of Fatwa Envy?

(Or, being that it's New England, maybe they think she's a witch. She is a teenage girl with extraordinary powers. I mean, my G-d! She read the Constitution correctly!)

To the Christians who keep saying that the Christians making death-threats "aren't really Christians:" Don't tell me, tell them. Or better yet, defend Jessica. If you can't, shut up.

Do the Math

2012-01-30T00:13:00.005-05:00

Ladies, don't be upset that you perhaps do more work than your male partner! New patriarchal studies have revealed that you only work, on average, a mere 20 minutes a day more! Wow, Time Magazine, thanks for the info! presented in such a small! manageable! context!!!

(I mean, it adds up to five full 24-hour days a year that your husband or boyfriend has free because you are the one cleaning the toilet, but just let it goooooo. 5 days a year doesn't matter, sez Time, patriarchy rag extraordinaire.)

WTF.

If Someone Could Define "Consent" and...

2012-01-29T23:54:00.001-05:00

...then just fax it over to the big ol' Mormon convention, that would be swell.

On this blog, "consent" most often refers to bodily autonomy. Sometimes it refers to economic situations and preferential options.

But posthumous baptism is important too, because it is a blatant and hateful exhibition of making a profound judgment against a person's will.

Mitt Romney's dead father-in-law had a chance during his lifetime to convert to Mormonism, but remained an atheist. After he died, he was posthumously baptized as a Mormon, even though they damn well knew he thought religion was "hogwash."

He made a choice and his choice was not honored. And maybe he would say that it doesn't really matter, because he's dead, but I ask you: What else does Mitt Romney not think consent is important for?

Ron Paul, 0.5% Less Repulsive From Before

2012-01-24T09:20:00.004-05:00

Ron Paul hates women and should go to hell for that alone; Ron Paul loves gold and should be psychologically evaluated for that alone. But every so often, Ron Paul says something so damn true that I like it in spite of myself.

The four Republicans had a debate in Tampa last night:

Romney, Gingrich and Rick Santorum each argued for keeping the restrictive Cold War-era trade relations with Cuba. Only Ron Paul disagreed.

"I don't like the isolation of not talking to people," Paul said. "The Cold War is over...I think we're living in the dark ages. We can't even talk to the Cuban people. I think it's not 1962 anymore, and we don't have to use force and intimidation and overthrow of governments. I don't think that's going to work."

Ron Paul doesn't think it's 1962! Not only is it true that it's not 1962, but I also happen to agree that it's not 1962.

Seriously though, it's time to reevaluate relations with Cuba, and not only because I'd like to vacation there. It's just time already.

In Context

2012-01-23T12:55:00.003-05:00

A local news story from Tennessee, "Parents Of Gay Teen Say School Bullying Caused Suicide," reports that an 8th grader didn't feel like life was worth living. He was gay, he was 14 years old, and he is dead.

This is unspeakably horrible, and there are some people in Tennessee who need to ask -- and answer -- some very difficult questions.

Shit like this doesn't happen in a void, and one of the best things about the blogging medium is how it allows news stories to be put in their proper context.

Here's another news story that was published this past weekend:

"Gays 'Make God Want to Vomit:' Meet Santorum's Honorary Florida Chairman."

There's no cause-and-effect here, but if you think these two events are unrelated, I have a bridge in Brooklyn I'd like to sell you.

You can't have hate speech coming from pulpits across the country and then try to hold religion/social conservatives blameless when children take their own lives. You just can't.

Um, Not Quite

2012-01-20T18:14:00.004-05:00

"The evangelical dilemma in South Carolina: adulterer or Mormon?"

If you want a president with a legacy of marital fidelity, you're going to have to work around Newt Gingrich's adultery.

If you believe that Mormons don't really qualify as Christian, you may find yourself struggling with Mitt Romney.

Of course, there's also Rick Santorum and Ron Paul. Then you just have to convince yourself either man can win; the probability fluctuates from week to week.

The assumption is, I guess, that no one has noticed Rick Santorum is a Catholic. Last time I checked, southern evangelicals don't exactly love them some Catholics.

The headline should read, "Adulterer, Mormon, Catholic, or Gold-Standard-er?" I mean, really: Let's wallow in the terrible choices Republicans can make here.

Worldwide Protest Against SOPA + PIPA

2012-01-18T01:50:00.007-05:00

Some sites you'll see down or otherwise protesting today: Wikipedia (completely blacked out for 24 hours), Craigslist, the Mojang (creators of Minecraft) sites, and Google.

Clueless

2012-01-17T14:57:00.002-05:00

Yeah, this is no good:

On the final night of this year's Democratic National Convention, President Obama will deliver his acceptance speech at Bank of America stadium, the Charlotte Observer reports.

It's not like I don't understand that Obama is a BoA president. It's that he shouldn't be so fucking proud to be a BoA president.

Don't Be a Moralizing Asshat

2012-01-12T16:04:00.005-05:00

I'm still off of reading dKos, but my other half pointed me to this front page article, asking, "Is this really a news story to get worked up over?"

Republican Senate staffers run an office pool on how many wildfires there will be each year. Tasteless and kinda callous? Absolutely. Worthy of our time? No.

We shouldn't be moralizing asshats because there's no ideological issue or difference at stake here. It's not a surprise to anyone that there are tasteless and/or callous people working in politics. A certain percentage of any population is just going to suck. Hill staffers are not an exception to this rule. I'm not trying to pull "both sides are just as bad" garbage (because, obviously, I don't think they are); I just don't think it's fair to try to blame a political party for basic, universal, human stupidity. If you wade into that quagmire you'll never get out.

So don't be a moralizing asshat...even when you have a right to be.

Why Make Fun of Mormons

2012-01-11T18:38:00.005-05:00

In honor of Mitt Romney's NH victory last night...

In atheist circles, it's chic to pretend that Mormonism is no weirder than any other religion. I often find myself on my own, because I think Mormonism is much much much weirder than other religions.

You could take four scholars -- a Jew, a Christian, a Muslim, and an atheist -- and put them together on a panel and have a week-long symposium on the nature of the historical Moses. The same panel on the historical Joseph Smith would last only two minutes: "Huckster. Next!"

World religions -- a category which excludes the homegrown Scientology as well as Mormonism -- have long histories, rich traditions, deep psychological significance, distinct philosophies and important cultural contributions. They can also be all manner of fucked up, which doesn't really (although perhaps should, though that's another post entirely) diminish the role they play.

I certainly don't hate Mormons more than I hate any group of bigots (*cough*Catholics like Santorum*cough*). They're just a lot easier to have fun with...

Republicans Say the Darndest Things

2012-01-09T14:25:00.002-05:00

On a scale of stupidity from "1: Stupid Things Ordinary People Say" to "10: Stupid Things Republican Presidential Candidates Say," Rick Santorum ranks a 15 with this keen observation from Saturday's NH debate:

RICK SANTORUM: I'm certainly not going to have a federal law that bans adoption for gay couples, when there are only gay couples in certain states.

I would love to know which states Santorum thinks are pure hetero. It would be good for LOLs.

Iowa Caucus

2012-01-03T16:20:00.002-05:00

Every four years, I become less interested in the Iowa caucus. This year, the most interesting thing coming out of Iowa tonight will be the number of Iowans who choose to go out in the cold to support candidates even Republicans can't love.

I, on the other hand, will be cooking lentils and probably watching How I Met Your Mother.

Banning a Service Dog? Really, Iowa?

2011-12-30T02:30:00.003-05:00

The service dog of a retired cop, who is also a disabled vet, had to give up his pit-mix service dog because his city threatened to take the dog and kill it (no euphemisms about "putting to sleep;" this wouldn't have been the kind death we share with animals who are suffering).

A few points:

1.) These are the people who get to go first in the presidential election? Really? I guess it won't be a big deal that Mitt Romney tied his dog to the roof of the car for a road trip, then...but I sure wish it would be.

2.) I'm not at all a fan of pits, and even I don't approve of breed-specific legislation. When the girl whose greyhound was nearly killed by a pit disapproves of your breed bigotry, you're just a horrible town.

3.) A service dog is not any breed; a service dog is just a Good Dog.

Most Beautiful Place in the World

2011-12-20T20:20:00.003-05:00

Labadee:

Don't Lie to Your Kids

2011-12-20T16:20:00.002-05:00

Just don't. It's not cute to change a house's architecture because a 6-year-old boy is worried about Santa fitting in the chimney. It's a ridiculous exercise and should not be undertaken.

A Thought on Hitch

2011-12-20T16:12:00.003-05:00

Christian apologists are trying to co-opt Hitch's atheism, which they would never have dared tried while he was alive. That right there tells you something about the argument's intellectual honesty.

I don't understand the desire to pretend Christopher Hitchens was something he wasn't. You're not going to see any feminist bloggers rushing to pretend that he was some kind of great friend to women (trust me, he wasn't).

What this feminist blogger will say is that readers should be sophisticated enough to know which ideas they agree with and which they disagree with. I don't have to pretend that Christopher Hitchens was always my ally; the Christian bloggers shouldn't be trying to pretend that he was ever on their side.

Noli Timere Messorem

2011-12-19T23:10:00.003-05:00

Preface: A Provocative Title

"Noli Timere Messorem" is the motto on the coat of arms of Sir Terry Pratchett, Discworld author extraordinaire. It's a compelling motto for the author who made the character of the grim reaper, known in Discworld as simply Death (an anthropomorphism I'm happy to adopt for this post), into an almost lovable character. It becomes even more compelling when you consider Sir Terry's early onset Alzheimer's and the possibility that he will choose assisted suicide.

Noli timere messorem. Don't fear the reaper.

Chapter 1: What's This "Hopelessness" You Speak Of?

Two summers back, my now-mother-in-law (MIL) first started asking me what it is like to live without "hope."

I couldn't answer her question because it's utterly nonsensical when applied to me. My life is positively brimming with hope. My life has been touched by grief, but not by fear, despair, or physical suffering. I am among the healthiest, best-educated women to ever walk upon the earth, and I would kneel and kiss the ground if the ground had anything to do with my incredible luck.

The MIL didn't see it that way -- still doesn't, as a matter of fact. Taken as a whole, my in-laws are betting heavily on Eternal Life, and if they can't have it, they don't want to play. It took me a while to realize that this form of "hope" -- the kind that has absolutely nothing to do with the authentic human condition -- was what the MIL was talking about.

If I'm going to cease existing (at least, in the form I'm presently occupying; I don't think we can definitively know much more than that), then why don't I just take my ball and go home? Why don't I just weep in fear of oblivion or choose to deceive myself with elaborate stories about cosmic judgment?

It's not a great mystery. The value of life is inherent. And I don't even need to answer the question when one far more eloquent already has:

O Me! O life!... of the questions of these recurring;
Of the endless trains of the faithless — of cities fill'd with the foolish;
Of myself forever reproaching myself, (for who more foolish than I, and who more faithless?)
Of eyes that vainly crave the light — of the objects mean — of the struggle ever renew'd;
Of the poor results of all — of the plodding and sordid crowds I see around me;
Of the empty and useless years of the rest — with the rest me intertwined;
The question, O me! so sad, recurring — What good amid these, O me, O life?

Answer.

That you are here — that life exists, and identity;
That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.

You've just been schooled by Walt Whitman. Booyah.

Chapter Two: Death and Weddings

After I got engaged and started reading everything I could get my hands on about the cultural and historical importance of weddings and marriages, I started to think for the first time about what now seems, to me, to be a very obvious question: Did I want to invite Death to my wedding? Of course, actual attendance wasn't the question. Death would be there whether invited or not:

"It is of course possible to write vows that avoid naming either death or the idea that life has a time limit, but even if you manage to not speak of it, death hovers at the wedding: think of all the legal aspects of marriage that are connected to death...

"When I married him, I would renounce, implicitly or explicitly, all former notions of my own immortality. Even if part of me still believed that I was immortal (and how many of us fully, actively, consistently comprehend that one day we will die?), marrying was going to challenge that belief."

- Pages 76 and 77 of Kate Cohen's A Walk Down the Aisle

I took this quote to heart because it demonstrates the futility of celebrating a life-changing event while turning a blind eye to the dark edges of mortality. Death would hover at the borders of our existence even if it was our wedding day, so we decided to invite her in, to look him in the eye, and to shake its hand.

Hence the final reading, which, nearly a year after I first discover it, still can bring tears to my eyes. These are the words with which we welcomed Death into our lives:

"I don't think I'll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful."

Now do you understand why that reading matters? Poetically, philosophically, even religiously, that we could look each other in the eyes at the moment and not lie?

Chapter 3: "Hopelessness" Returns, Now With Prejudice

**Disclaimer: Before proceeding with this rather incendiary commentary about my husband's family, I want to be clear about a few things. The first is that they have received due notice of my beliefs, so this post shouldn't surprise anyone. I'm not saying anything here that I wouldn't (or haven't) say to their faces. The second thing is that this is my blog and I'll write about whatever I see fit to write about, kthanxbai. Last but not least, if you read carefully, you'll see that I'm not attacking any other belief system; I'm just standing up for my own. I'm entitled to do so.**

The MIL let it be known -- on the morning Steve and I were leaving for our honeymoon, no less -- that the final reading in our wedding ceremony was a little bit heavy on despair and, you guessed it, hopelessness. I am baffled by anyone who thinks words like "vivid" and "wonderful" are hopelessness incarnate, but it's a free country and the MIL can interpret this deeply moving excerpt however she wants.

I mean, she's completely wrong, but it doesn't impact my life except to remind me that I'd hate to be an English lit professor.

I did think it was insensitive (remember the burr I mentioned in my We're Back post?) that the in-laws told us about how one of Steve's siblings was "personally offended" (exact quote) by the reading. I'm not saying I had a nose-bleed when I heard that, but it was a near thing.

Our wedding was carefully crafted to reflect our beliefs. Our beliefs. Our beliefs about marriage, life, and death. Our beliefs, because it was our wedding goddamn it. How could you ask us to do anything less? (Christian privilege much?)

Not how I wanted to start off the honeymoon. Like I said, insensitive. I stewed about it while we were boarding the ship and then managed to put it out of my mind for the rest of the week.

We got off the cruise ship yesterday, and the walls I had hidden my irritation behind for eight days crumbled almost immediately. Sure, I'm a passionate person, but the crumbling was helped by the news that Christopher Hitchens had died during the week.

He's the real reason I'm writing this post.

Chapter 4: My Friend the Enemy

I first became familiar with Christopher Hitchens as a political opponent. I didn't know about Hitchens as a man of letters, just as someone who I felt probably would perform immoral sex acts on Paul Wolfowitz. I was a political novice, but more importantly, I was a kid. (I'm still probably a kid, which is neither here nor there.) And as a political novice/kid, it didn't occur to me that Hitch was a complicated fellow. It took me a few years to learn that it was possible for a man to be completely right about some issues and completely wrong about others, possible for me to respect someone with an appalling tendency to be dead wrong about issues dear to me, and possible for heart-rending eloquence to be delivered on some awfully dry and/or upsetting topics.

Hitch was brilliant, and I'm sorry he's dead. Because Hitch was so famous for not being a believer, we have to talk about his afterlife.

I have three favorite quotes from Hitch. The first is, "Believe me, it's torture;" the man let himself be waterboarded and gave us a definitive account of what it's like. I don't think the word "ballsy" does him justice.

The second was an off-hand comment in an unrelated lecture about how the world's problems need to be solved via "the economic liberation of women." Word.

But the best was one I heard him say in person, at a debate against Dinesh D'Souza at UCF. What would Hitch say (a questioner in the audience asked, in ridiculously bad faith) to God after he dies?

"Anyone can make an honest mistake," Hitch quipped, "and I'm particularly proud of this one."

Applause without end, amen.

To imply that striving to be the equal of Christopher Hitchens' intellect and passion is a mere shadow of the existence one could have in the "Eternal Life" if only we'd sacrifice that selfsame intellect and passion...well, that's happening in many corners of the web these days, and I must say that a god who demanded such a thing could be real as dirt and I still wouldn't worship him.

And to suggest that Christopher Hitchens should have been, somehow, less than the man that he was in order to curry eternal favor is to do a grave injustice to the verse he contributed to the powerful play.

No, I don't believe that Hitch is in heaven (although I believe he may be at peace), and I don't despair because I have no hope of joining him there.

Conclusion

This I believe: I believe that a fiercely passionate life is more beautiful than heaven.

This I believe: I believe that a love born of miraculous chance instead of supernatural design is a cause for great celebration.

This I believe: Noli timere messorem.

You do not have to share my beliefs, but you should not tell me about my beliefs as if I've never considered what it is I'm asserting.

Christmas Gift Ideas: Signals

2011-12-19T16:19:00.005-05:00

For the second year in a row (woohoo!) I'm taking a stab at creating a not-too-generic buying guide to seasonal gifts.

Obviously, you'll buy your *actual* friends presents that they will *actually* like. But if you're at a loss, here are some things from Signals that I think are pretty cool (but will return if you buy them for me, since this is not my wishlist):

1.) Fairy Berries: These are little spheres with lights that fade on an off. You hide them around a dark yard or put them in water. I live in a place that doesn't have fireflies, so I find the idea of substituting with LED berries appealing. Set of ten is $27.95, two or more sets for $24.95.

2.) Balancing Act Sculpture: It's two playing otters cast in brass, but way more elegant than it sounds. The statue is really quite beautiful. $149.

3.) Mezuzah House Blessing: Interestingly, this mezuzah does not appear to include a mezuzah scroll. However, it is beautiful, made out of pewter and green-tinged recycled glass. Four inches tall, $35.

4.) Haikubes: 63 d6s with words on the sides. Play with them to write haikus. I think this would be a great thing to play with if you're sitting around with family. $24.95.

5.) "I'm Not Short. I'm Fun Sized!" T-Shirt: White on dark brown. $19.95 for the adult shirt.

6.) TYJ Bracelets to Share: TYJ stands for "Trust Your Journey." Braided cotton with heart-shaped beads. One to keep, one to give. $24.95.

7.) "Ken Burns: Prohibition:" The PBS 6-hour documentary on Prohibition. Personally, I think that would be interesting, although I see how it could drive some people to drink. $39.99 for the DVDs.

8.) Distortion Candlestick: Wobbly candles! Awesome if you want to pretend that you are a pyromaniac but really aren't (since the candles don't actually wobble; click on the link and take a look at the pictures). Buy two or more and get them for $19.95 each.

The Final Reading

2011-12-19T10:58:00.003-05:00

I wanted to provide this text as a point of reference to the post I'm currently working on. At our wedding last month, our fourth and final reading was an excerpt from an interview that Ann Druyan gave about the death of Carl Sagan.

When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me –- it still sometimes happens -– and ask me if Carl changed at the end and converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don't ever expect to be reunited with Carl.

But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous –- not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance. . . . That pure chance could be so generous and so kind. . . . That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time. . . . That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful. . . . The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday.

I don't think I'll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.

We're Back

2011-12-18T19:09:00.002-05:00

After eight nights in the Caribbean and nearly getting groped by a monkey in St. Kitts (see picture), we arrived home today to the depressing but not unexpected news that Christopher Hitchens has died of esophageal cancer. Hitch's death happens to coincide with a burr being placed under my saddle by my god-fearing in-laws, who tend to use the word "hopeless" in close proximity to the word "atheism." Hitch's death provides an appropriate opportunity to address this, and I hope to do so tonight.

WTF, Obama?

2011-12-08T13:20:00.003-05:00

So it's not like I hate the president, but I kinda hate the president.

President Barack Obama on Thursday defended his health secretary's decision to stop the Plan B morning-after pill from moving onto drugstore shelves next to the condoms.

"As the father of two daughters," he said, "I think it is important for us to make sure that we apply some common sense to various rules when it comes to over-the-counter medicine." The president spoke the morning after his administration stunned major doctors' groups and women's health advocates with the decision.

I don't understand why we're so worried about 12-year-old girls casually walking into CVS and buying (just for kicks, you understand) a $50 pill but we don't appear to give a shit about 15-year-old girls who actually need the pill.

In the real world, the first group doesn't exist, but the second group does. President Obama can take his "common sense" and shove it.

Oh, and also, what's with this "as the father of two daughters" crap? What kind of father would want to deny his daughters access to safe, and sometimes necessary, medication? And what kind of cluelessness does it take to ignore the reality that sometimes girls need this pill because of a male guardian? I'll tell you what kind: The male privilege kind.

Apple's iEpicFail

2011-11-30T17:54:00.001-05:00

Don't ask your new iPhone where to find an abortion clinic; Siri will direct you to a crisis pregnancy center.

Seriously, Apple, WTF?

A New Low

2011-11-30T17:48:00.004-05:00

Taking a look at this blog's archives, it becomes immediately clear that I've been upset about the state of the world for a long time. It's rare to discover a new rock bottom these days, but I finally found one: For the first time ever, I found myself physically incapable of speech after watching the 60 Minutes segment "Hard Times Generation: Families living in cars."

The segment was filmed locally, since one-third of homeless families in the US live in Florida. The shelters are totally full, so people are living in cars. (And if the state finds you living in a car, they'll take your kids away.)

I think we're officially a banana republic now.

Interesting Question

2011-11-30T17:40:00.004-05:00

I subscribe to the Innocence Project's Facebook feed, which today posed the question, "In your opinion, how should prosecutors be held accountable when they’re caught committing misconduct?"

Now, keep in mind that I don't really think* this is a good idea (I just like the cut of its jib), but mull it over nonetheless: Prosecutors who commit misconduct should be immediately sentenced to whatever the maximum penalty is for the crime being prosecuted. In essence, misconduct in a death penalty trial would become a capital crime.

Why shouldn't it be? Misconduct in a death penalty trial is already tantamount to manslaughter. Let's make it official.

----
*I'm against the death penalty; I would never make a serious argument to expand its use.

Happy Black Friday

2011-11-25T15:49:00.003-05:00

For my own reasons -- which I share with my husband, and which I've clearly stated during previous Thanksgiving weekends -- we don't celebrate Thanksgiving. I do, however, receive an odd enjoyment from wishing people a happy Black Friday. We don't participate in Black Friday, either, but it seems like such an intellectually honest holiday for USians.

Before the Day Ends...

2011-11-20T23:27:00.003-05:00

I wanted to recognize that today is Transgender Day of Remembrance. At the website, you can download a spreadsheet with 644 names of transmen and transwomen who have died either due to overt hate crimes (beating, decapitation, etc.) or the subtler, but equally deadly, negligence of hospitals, EMTs, and private practice doctors. It's sobering to realize that the spreadsheet is nowhere near complete.

We Got Married

2011-11-14T13:40:00.002-05:00

Wedding Eve

2011-11-11T21:54:00.001-05:00

Just a quick note to apologize yet again for the terrible blogging pace of late. Pulling off a wedding is exactly as hard as it looks.

The rehearsal bowling tonight, however, went great.

20 and Counting?

2011-11-08T17:41:00.008-05:00

That weird Duggar family has baby #20 on the way, further challenging medical science's assertion that the vagina is not a clown car.

Before anyone gets all worked up about how I dare to criticize the choices of another woman, let me just say, this is worth getting exercised about. Michelle Duggar is suffering from the delusion that it is good and natural to pop out kids until she physically can't any longer (an event which may or may not coincide with her death). That delusion is at large in the society you and I live in, obligating us to speak up. It is dangerous; it is stupid; it is callous.

On some level, sure, Michelle Duggar wants to have more than 20 kids. But she made that choice in a context of a religion that has only Fathers and Sons. Given her lot in life, how free was she, really, to make different choices?

File Under "Double Take"

2011-10-31T02:35:00.003-04:00

FH was asked by a client, re: Occupy, "Oh, so then you believe there is inequality?"

I mean, what the hell, dude.

I still want to post the pictures from October 15, the beginning of Occupy Orlando, but having a wedding on November 12 is sucking up an enormous amount of my time. The next OO march is scheduled for November 5.

I also want to clarify my brief post on class warfare: Occupiers and allies aren't the ones waging class warfare. Asking for economic justice is not warfare.

But tax cuts for the wealthy, austerity measures, new fees, bonuses to CEOs/bankers, predatory lending practices...those are all types of class warfare, and to say any different is a lie.

Nota Bene

2011-10-24T18:15:00.002-04:00

My alma mater is giving Daniel Tosh an award for bringing "international acclaim" to the school.

Daniel Tosh sickens me and I'm actually quite angry at UCF for awarding a racist, misogynist, low-brow fart.

Live-Blogging the Republican Debate

2011-10-18T20:38:00.000-04:00

Wait, who cares?

Guy Fieri Sucks

2011-10-18T17:41:00.002-04:00

Thanks to Shakesville for cluing me in:

"You can't send me to talk to gay people without warning! Those people weird me out!" — Guy Fieri, to Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives creator David Page, after interviewing two restaurateurs he believed were gay.

Okay. Full disclosure: Guy Fieri weirds me out.

Catholic Church Kidnaps 300,000 Babies, Ruins Women's Lives

2011-10-18T17:26:00.002-04:00

It's painful to me that I cannot be surprised by this sort of revelation: For 50 years, the Catholic Church in Spain was running an organized baby-trafficking operation. You simply tell the "unfit" mother that her baby is dead and sell the baby to a nice Catholic couple. Forge the paperwork, close your eyes to the mother's grief, rinse and repeat.

I cannot be surprised because I know how marginalized single mothers traditionally have been. I know of the war that has been waged in this country against "unfit" mothers (mostly poor, Black, and/or Native American), of the children taken away, of the involuntary/secret/forced sterilizations.

When I post "The World Hates Women," I'm not saying it tongue-in-cheek. There is systemic violence perpetuated by many factors -- in this case, by a patriarchal religion that marginalizes women and children and by a misogynistic medical industry. Only a world that truly and deeply hates women could allow 300,000 kidnappings, lies, and ruined lives.

I'm not surprised, but I swear to G-d, I'm mad enough to set the Vatican on fire.

Can't Worship What Ain't There

2011-10-18T17:13:00.004-04:00

Posting because I've noticed a spike in Christian radical clerics conflating atheism and Satan worship. Wicca and other forms of neo-paganism get lumped into this, too.

I'm not Wiccan, but I understand that many Wiccans think the idea of a Supreme Being creating a slightly-less supreme evil being to do battle with is totally nonsensical from a religious point of view. So although I can't speak from experience (not a Wiccan), I'm relatively certain that following a religion in which the Devil was never created is a big obstacle to Satan worship.

As for me and, basically, all other atheists: Non-belief in the existence of the supernatural includes non-belief in devils, demons, hell dimensions, Satan, and all other fictions. Not worshiping the good god doesn't imply worshiping the bad god; rather, non-belief implies non-belief.

You really, really don't have to worry that I might be under the thrall of a fictional hellgod.

Class Warfare

2011-10-15T14:14:00.001-04:00

Well, um, yeah.

Topeka

2011-10-12T14:50:00.002-04:00

The Topeka City Council voted last night to repeal the law against misdemeanor domestic battery. The vote was 7 to 3 in favor of repealing.

I don't know enough profane words to do justice to this.

Via.

Rebecca Watson FTW

2011-10-10T16:15:00.001-04:00

"Dear Theist: Do Your Job or Find Another."

For realz. Pharmacists, doctors, nurses, and science teachers have been throwing fits about exceptions for their own "morality" for a while now. (Blah to that.) Now town clerks want in on opting out. Can't be a fundie and marry the gays, you see, just like you can't hand out birth control, inform women of different medical options, or teach evolution.

Think about it. I'm a vegetarian for ethical reasons. If I was a waitress, no one would be fighting for my right to not serve a burger, even though eating a burger clearly goes against a belief that I practice every day of my life. Why is religion entitled to special treatment that ethics are not?

And no, I'm not saying that vegetarian waitresses shouldn't have to serve meat. I'm saying that if they are upset by the idea of serving meat, they should seriously look into retail jobs, just like the pharmacists and the town clerks should.

Troublemaker

2011-10-10T16:07:00.000-04:00

That's what I'm calling myself. It's 33 days until the wedding and I'm such a troublemaker that I just had to pick up and read All Dressed in White: The Irresistible Rise of the American Wedding by Carol McD. Wallace.

I mean, it looks like we -- FH and I -- have ridden out the initial waves of disapproval. It's been a while since we've gotten an "uh-oh" or a "you'll seeeeeee" from anyone, allowing us to dial down our "damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead" approach to wedding planning. But, you know, I read a lot. Then I find stuff I like, then I was to share it. Pretty soon it's stirring up trouble all over again.

All Dressed in White is an interesting history text (maybe a little too detailed in places for those of us without a background in who all these old time society folks are).

On page 262:

"A woman, when she elected to marry, assumed the bridal identity. Critic Holly Brubach, writing in The New Yorker in 1989, ruminated on this disjunction. 'A bride is supposed to be young, demure, graceful, happy, and serene. But what a bride is not supposed to be is in some ways more telling. She is not sexy....She is not skeptical or ironic, since these are qualities come by through experience. Nor is she funny....She is not worldly wise. The bride is a symbol, and in symbolic terms she is blank.'"

This paragraph is as it appears in the book. Had I added my own emphasis, it would have been here: The bride is a symbol, and in symbolic terms she is blank.

I know perfectly well that this isn't always the case. I'm not the only person working hard to be sure that the symbol is supplanted by my skeptical, ironic, funny reality. I do worry sometimes, though, about the things I'm going along with -- having a wedding at all, for example. I worry about being an avatar of something I despise, the "institution that is exalted by politicians we abhor and promoted by an industry as spiritually meaningful as a mall on Christmas Eve" (to quote Kate Cohen on page 143 of A Walk Down the Aisle).

It's not my guests I worry about confusing; trust me, by the time we're done working, they'll get it. It's just that the rest of the world outnumbers us by several hundred million times.

On page 276:

"This is the unfortunate corollary of blurring the lines between celebrities and real people: the standards get impossibly high. We avidly watch famous actresses doing something we intend to do. The brides are always slender, their gowns are always from Vera Wang, their engagement rings are never smaller than three carats, and the cake never has fewer than three tiers. How can we live up to this?"

Answer: You can't. So you might as well save yourself the heartache and opt out.

I understand why people don't choose to opt out. What I can't understand is why our choice to opt out is so strange. You'd think people would want to flee impossible standards.

I didn't have to make peace with the realization that I would not look like Catherine Zeta-Jones. I had to make peace with the fact that I would look like myself. Even if I did everything so many other brides do, including changing my hair color, getting a tan, toning my upper arms (all things I personally felt would be frustrating, expensive, and time-consuming), I will never look like anyone but myself. I might as well regard that as a good thing.

On page 281:

"What is more real here -- the wedding or the pictures? Promising to share a life with another person, or being photographed in the costume of someone who has just made that promise, in front of an exotic background?"

I think what surprised me the most about getting into wedding planning was the fixation on photography. We go through every other day of our lives without being obsessed with photography, without, as a photographer acquaintance so cheesily put it, "having pictures that will bring tears to your grandchildren's eyes." This is a curious proposition. Do we really think that the symbols of a so-called "traditional" wedding will be unchanged in three generations?

I want pictures. I don't care if they look like a magazine shoot; in fact, I probably wouldn't understand it if they did look that way. Having a husband seems like it would be a pretty good memento of getting weddinged. Pictures of him are just extra.

Mad as Hell

2011-10-10T15:40:00.002-04:00

And we're not gonna take it anymore.

Made of Awesome

2011-10-10T15:17:00.002-04:00

Best webcomic ever. Found thanks to PZ.

Amanda Knox Now FREE

2011-10-03T17:36:00.005-04:00

Amanda Knox's murder conviction was overturned at 3:45 EST. After serving four years in prison, the American student is heading home.

[5:10 EST] Amanda Knox has left the Capanne prison where she has been held for four years.

Knox was in the back of a black tinted car and is officially a free woman, CNN's Paula Newton reported.

Read also "Amanda Knox Acquitted of Murder."

I can't express how relieved I am for Amanda and her family that this ordeal is over. I feel genuine joy on their behalf.

Also, memo to Italian justice system: You aren't off the hook. Explore the concept of "beyond a reasonable doubt" and give some thought to a double jeopardy rule, 'k?

I'm Getting Old(er)

2011-09-28T18:59:00.003-04:00

Two things have happened to me in the past week to highlight how I'm not as young as I used to be.

1.) I went to a volunteer orientation -- the sort of thing I used to always be the youngest person at. There were two adult women there who were younger than me. It was so strange.

2.) I realized that, in the last year, the ratio has shifted from the majority of my friends being unmarried to the majority of my friends being married. Someone who is getting married herself in six and a half weeks shouldn't be surprised by this, but still.

Couple of Days Behind

2011-09-27T16:15:00.002-04:00

I've been slow to post -- I think I had temporary burnout after Davis -- so here are some things to read.

- "Texas Prisons End Special Last Meals in Executions." The only way ending "last meals" would be a good thing would be if it resulted from abolishing the death penalty.

- Amanda Marcotte on why procedural arguments are the way to end the death penalty. I basically agree; although I feel the death penalty is morally wrong, it's very hard to win an argument with principles alone. (That is why, for example, I'm in favor of advocating for reproductive justice from a consumerism standpoint. It is dramatically less radical to talk about giving women a "choice" than it is to talk about the complete social, economic, and religious liberation of women -- even if the second option is what I truly believe in.)

- A judge in southern Alabama is giving misdemeanor offenders the choice of church or jail. That's all kinds of unconstitutional. I'm ready to move to southern Alabama and open a Pastafarian Church in order to give this demographic a fair choice.

Things Accomplished Today

2011-09-23T19:41:00.002-04:00

1.) Visited the tailor. Very professional woman. All alterations for wedding clothes for both me and FH = $68.14, including tax. We pick up our clothes in a week. The wedding is seven weeks from tomorrow.

2.) Went to get flu shots. Flu shots are always a good idea, but flu shots for the season to include wedding and honeymoon = very good idea, even a necessary idea. Total cost for two flu shots: $31.99.

3.) Went to Target to get a second litter box for the Bad Cat. Apparently one just doesn't cut it any more. The vet confirms that some cats like to discriminate between boxes. I am irritated at our cat. This is the only money we spent today that we shouldn't have had to spend.

Wow

2011-09-22T01:43:00.004-04:00

It takes a lot to make a decent person say, "Wow, I'm sorry you're a widow, but...you're an asshole." And yet, I say to Joan MacPhail-Harris...wow, I'm sorry you're a widow, and you're a stupendous asshole.

"I will grieve for the Davis family because now they're going to understand our pain and our hurt," she told the AP in a telephone interview from Jackson.

No, no, a thousand times no.

The Davis family had to dread Troy's death. The Davis family had to know that it was premeditated and state-sanctioned. And the Davis family had to suffer through hope, which is an exquisite torture, both to hold and to have dashed.

Lady, your pain has nothing on that of the Davis family. Factor in the twenty years you've had to heal, and it doesn't even come close.

Moral Courage, Moral Cowardice

2011-09-22T01:17:00.002-04:00

Troy Davis was pronounced dead at 11:08 p.m., after being forced through the mental torture of a four-hour delay.

"Troy Davis has impacted the world," his sister Martina Correia said at a news conference. "They say, 'I am Troy Davis,' in languages he can't speak."

To say "I am Troy Davis," to exhibit that moral courage, pledge to fight to abolish the death penalty.

The moral cowardice comes from -- where else -- the White House:

Press secretary Jay Carney issued a statement saying that although Obama "has worked to ensure accuracy and fairness in the criminal justice system," it was not appropriate for him "to weigh in on specific cases like this one, which is a state prosecution."

Bullshit. No one is claiming that Obama should have stepped on states' rights. We're merely suggesting that the office of the president of the United States be opposed to executions when there is obvious doubt.

Torture

2011-09-21T19:42:00.004-04:00

When you take a man up to the hour of execution and then delay -- not stay, delay -- that. is. torture.

SCOTUS could come back within minutes and say "kill him." Or it could take another 7 days.

8 p.m. update: Democracy Now is still broadcasting live from outside the Georgia death row. Amy Goodman will be there for another hour.

I really dislike Twitter, but I've been reading the #TroyDavis tweets this evening for the solidarity and the updates. Maybe 5% of these tweets, though, are people (perhaps inevitably, white) who want to know where the "justice" is for the victim. Those tweets make me sick. Who could possibly imagine that anything in this situation constitutes "justice?"

I Stand With Troy Davis

2011-09-21T16:55:00.002-04:00

"Georgia's going to murder an innocent man in a few hours. Feels weird just to have a normal day." [Via.]

At this point, we have ever reason to believe that Troy Davis will be dead in a shade over two hours.

I have been baffled by this case, beginning with the lack of physical evidence, continuing with the witnesses who have recanted their testimonies, and finally shocked and appalled by the callousness exhibited by the highest levels of the American judiciary:

As for the new and changed accounts by some witnesses, an unmoved federal judge dismissed them during a hearing set up by the U.S. Supreme Court in 2010. He said while the "new evidence casts some additional, minimal doubt on his conviction, it is largely smoke and mirrors."

It was the first time in 50 years that justices had considered a request to grant a new trial for a death row inmate. It set a tough standard for Davis to exonerate himself, ruling his attorneys must "clearly establish" Davis' innocence — a higher bar to meet than prosecutors having to prove guilt.

Once the hearing judge made his ruling, the justices didn't take up the case.

I don't know how someone is supposed to "clearly establish" his innocence in a system where the possible verdicts are "Guilty" and "Not Guilty." "Innocent" is not an option within this frame, leading me to conclude that Troy Davis never had a chance.

Davis has issued a statement, asking that we continue our fight after his death:

"The struggle for justice doesn't end with me," Davis said in a letter to supporters released to the public via Amnesty International USA after his legal appeal was refused.

"This struggle is for all the Troy Davises who came before me and all the ones who will come after me," he said in the message.

"I'm in good spirits and I'm prayerful and at peace. But I will not stop fighting until I've taken my last breath."

Our promise to him must be that we will not stop fighting after he has taken his last breath.

Journalism Fail

2011-09-20T19:36:00.004-04:00

Here are the first two paragraphs of the article "Troy Davis to be executed after parole board denies clemency:"

A Georgia parole board has denied clemency to Troy Davis, the death-row inmate whose case attracted international attention amid what supporters say are significant doubts over his guilt. With the failure of Davis' last-ditch appeal, announced Tuesday morning, he appears all but certain to be executed by lethal injection Wednesday at 7 p.m.

"He's guilty," Joan MacPhail-Harris, the widow of the Savannah cop who Davis was convicted of killing, told reporters Monday before the board announced its decision. "We need to go ahead and execute him."

That's the lead comment? The widow of the victim has made up her mind, so let's string him up?

What's happening legally to Troy Davis is an atrocity, a gross miscarriage of justice that will result in an unnecessary death. That much should go without saying. (SCOTUS doesn't want to step in; I'll see them in Hell.)

The insult added to the injury is a media which doesn't have the decency to recognize that its coverage exists on the same spectrum of injustice that allows for men to be put to death despite serious doubts. The mainstream media helps to create and propagate a punitive culture when the lead quote is the fucking widow asserting Troy Davis' guilt, as if she has jackshit expertise to lend to the case.

Jesus H. There's a reason that the victim's loved ones are not allowed to carry out vigilante justice in this country.

So what the everlovin' fuck is the media doing, giving this woman a platform the day before Troy Davis is scheduled to be put to death?

Email from the DCCC

2011-09-20T19:28:00.001-04:00

Tea Party Republican Congressman John Fleming would have a rough go of it under President Obama's new plan to make millionaires pay their fair share. In fact, he told MSNBC yesterday -- and these are his words -- "by the time I feed my family, I have maybe $400,000 left over."

Wow. We should just let teabaggers write our fundraising emails all the time.

Food Insecurity

2011-09-15T01:34:00.002-04:00

We have a real problem:

The USDA indicates that in 2010 there were above 17 million households in the US (out of about 115 million households total) that were food insecure, and had trouble getting enough food on a regular basis. Only 59% of those households, however, received Food Stamps, WIC or School lunches, the three largest US food subsidy programs that make up the bulk of US nutritional supplementation programs. Which means that nearly half of all households [41%] were either receiving no support despite food insecurity, or relying on food pantries, soup kitchens and other resources.

One of the most significant things that has happened in the last 10 years is that food has become unaffordable to many Americans. This is astonishing, because we pay less of our income to food than almost anyone in the world or in human history. Meanwhile, more and more Americans need food subsidies to get to the end of the month - one in every 7, and one in every 3 school children. Very few people seem to realize how fundamentally America has changed as food subsidies have become basic. And still, nearly half the households that need help are not getting it.

Locally, I know of at least one food pantry that is currently out of dry goods because the demand is so high.

Bootstraps bootstraps blah blah blah.

Today in Security Theater

2011-09-14T23:13:00.003-04:00

This is why I don't fly:

A U.S. woman said Tuesday that she endured nearly four hours in police custody that included being forced off an airplane in handcuffs, strip-searched and interrogated at Detroit's airport on the 10th anniversary of the Sept. 11 attacks — all, she believes, because of her Middle Eastern appearance.

Shoshana Hebshi, 35, told The Associated Press she was one of three people removed from a Denver-to-Detroit Frontier Airlines flight after landing Sunday afternoon. Authorities say fighter jets escorted the plane after its crew reported that two people were spending a long time in a bathroom -- the two men sitting next to Hebshi in the 12th row.

So, to recap: No one was doing anything, but because one of the men in Hebshi's row was ill, and because Hebshi is half-Arabic, she was detained, strip-searched, and interrogated (but not "arrested" -- the FBI feels it needs to be very clear on this point; except, dude, for all intents and purposes, being taken away in handcuffs = arrested). All to make Americans "safer."

I'm not afraid of fellow passengers who spend too much time in the bathroom. I am, however, scared shitless of passengers who freak out and call the authorities because brown-skinned people are on the plane.

It's been 10 years. It's time to calm down.

Fiction, Privilege, and -isms

2011-09-14T19:14:00.007-04:00

Today I finished reading Ghost Story, the 13th Dresden Files book, and naturally immediately wanted to know when the 14th book would be published. And, of course, the web being the intellectual sinkhole it is, I had to read a bunch of hysterical crap about how ZOMG JIM BUTCHER IS FUCKING EVIL in order to find a projected release date.

Why can't life be simple?

Of course, I make it more complicated than it has to be, too, because I feel the need to weigh in. I worry that if I don't weigh in, someone will say, "Hm. Asshole tweeters have persuaded me that Jim Butcher is racist. Amy likes Jim Butcher. Amy must be exerting white privilege and not care about racism." (Hey, just because it's a huge leap to make doesn't mean I don't worry about it.)

As I understand the flame war, it goes like this: The Dresden Files take place in Chicago. People who live in the real Chicago are upset that the city is being portrayed in a certain way (because that has never, ever happened to Chicago before, ever, and who would dare distort a city in fiction?). Some of these people want to make a federal case out of it, claiming that if Jim Butcher wasn't a white man, he would never write about Chicago in this way. That is probably a correct assertion, given how race and privilege function in our society, but it isn't automatically an evil thing. And it takes a hysterical asshole to assume the next step is to blog or tweet "Fuck you Jim Butcher." Which they did.

Not unreasonably, Jim Butcher was put off by this, tweeting, back on July 6,

"Fuck you Jim Butcher" is neither criticism, nor criticism of my text... Legitimate criticism, in my professional experience, rarely comes with personal invective and F-bombs.

Anyone who has stopped to consider the question knows this to be true. No legitimate criticism, and from there a constructive conversation, can take place when ad hominem attacks are being bandied about. (A side note: I'm guilty too; I do use ad hominem attacks...when I'm being lazy and am especially angry. I try hard to not use those attacks as my contribution to the conversation.)

Jim Butcher is white. His Chicago is therefore a white man's Chicago, AND it is fictional. It isn't so much the real Chicago as it is a codeword representing all the things associated with Chicago in popular culture. I think it's a perfectly fine setting for (among other things) vigilante werewolves. Is he exerting white privilege? Of course he is, all the time. But is it racism? I have trouble seeing it.

That doesn't mean it isn't there, of course. It just means that I can't perceive it. You could try to persuade me of the racist intent, but not with the argument "Fuck you Jim Butcher."

I wish it was for me to say, "No, it's not racist, don't worry about it." All I can say is that I have trouble believing that this particular fantasy landscape is a co-option of minority lives/voices. I'm reading the books and enjoying them in good faith. My perception of Jim Butcher is that he is writing the books in good faith. (Incidentally, this is also why the "problems with objectification" I mentioned before don't turn me away from the series. Just because Jim Butcher really really likes boobs is a poor reason to assume that his portrayal of women is done in bad faith. It would be nice if we had a culture where the size of a female character's breasts was an irrelevant detail, but we don't, and that's not Jim Butcher's fault.)

Conclusion: These conversations need to happen, but they don't need to happen like this.

Conclusion 2: If we're going to pick on wizards named Harry, Potter is a lot more influential than Dresden, so let's pick on him first.

Required Reading

2011-09-14T11:46:00.003-04:00

1.) "Reflections of a GOP operative who left the cult."

2.) In response, Andrew Sullivan, "Republicanism As Religion."

One of the pictures on Sullivan's piece creeps me the hell out:

Yep. I fear Rick Perry.

Let Them Eat Death Cake

2011-09-13T15:12:00.006-04:00

Consider these two stories together.

1 in 6 Americans living in poverty:

The ranks of the nation's poor have swelled to a record 46.2 million -- nearly 1 in 6 Americans -- as the prolonged pain of the recession leaves millions still struggling and out of work. And the number without health insurance has reached 49.9 million, the most in over two decades.

Support at GOP debate for letting the uninsured die:

"That's what freedom is all about: taking your own risks," Paul said, repeating the standard libertarian view as some in the audience cheered.

"But congressman, are you saying that society should just let him die?" Blitzer asked.

"Yeah," came the shout from the audience. That affirmative was repeated at least three times. Paul, who has always had a reputation for being a charitable man, disagreed with the idea that sick people should die, but insisted that the answer to the healthcare problem was not a large government.

As an aside, how much would you wager that the people shouting for blood are all upstanding Christians? I'd go all in.

Two Theories

2011-09-07T21:54:00.003-04:00

1.) Stuck-in-the-90s educators are still teaching kids, "This is a document. This is a folder." This is an absurd use of computer lab time when kids are overwhelmingly digital natives. Why doesn't the standard intro fare include guidelines on what pictures not to post on Facebook? Now that would be helpful.

2.) It should be easier to make non-compatible gaming rules talk to each other (think about translating a d20 system to any other system...but don't really, because it hurts the brain). I do not know how this ought to be accomplished.

An Act of Faith

2011-09-04T21:41:00.005-04:00

While I don't believe in the serious religious aspects of karma, what Americans colloquially call "karma" is an entirely different matter. I don't need to "believe" in good or bad emanations from an action, not when I know that actions have direct repercussions, and that those can sometimes be characterized as good or bad. This is a pretty standard non-religious, Western definition of karma.

Working from that definition, what I believe -- not as a religious philosophy, but as a philosophy of life -- is that this type of karma directly impacts the overall quality of a person's life. Striving for positive emanations pays off. Here's the tricky part: It doesn't always pay off for you. It might pay off for someone else. You have to believe that a net increase in the world's happiness is a worthy goal. And that takes just as much faith as a literal belief in cycles of death and rebirth.

I was thinking about this earlier today when I was on my way home from the grocery store. I had been stopped in the parking lot by a frantic young woman who needed gas money. She obviously felt it was very, very important to explain to me that she wasn't "a bum" and she wasn't on drugs. The woman tried to prove to me that she just needed a couple of dollars to get home; obviously, such a thing cannot be proven to any reasonable degree of certainty.

I don't carry cash. I coincidentally had a buck and two quarters in my pocket, and I gave them away freely. I didn't give her the money because I'm naive or because the story was so compelling. I didn't do it to generate good karma for myself, either. Whatever this woman's reasons for asking for money were, one of us was going to be walking away with $1.50, and only one of us was going to be significantly happier to be doing so.

This is not a story about how noble I am, or about how government handouts are unnecessary because generous college-educated women scatter largess in supermarket parking lots, or even about faith in humanity. It's a story about the kind of faith an atheist has: I marginally increased the net happiness in the world, just because I believe it's a good thing to do.

Stop It

2011-09-04T12:49:00.004-04:00

Things I'm sick of:

1.) The media reminiscence every single day in the run-up to the 10th anniversary of 9/11. It's upsetting, and I think it's unnecessary. Who are these people who don't remember 9/11 like it was yesterday?

2.) Anti-science conservatives, be they religious or political, talking about evolution. Get a new dog whistle already and stop making up stuff about transitional fossils.

Harumph.

2011-08-31T23:59:00.003-04:00

A good way to irritate yourself: Spend a couple of hours reading opinion pieces by people who don't know the difference between "perinatal" and "neonatal."

I ended up doing exactly that because there has been a spate of homebirth deaths recently (4 that I've heard of: one mother, three babies). I was sort of surprised by the news, because when I think "homebirth," I think "midwife," and when I think "midwife," I think "certified nurse-midwife." It's 2011, for Pete's sake. Is there really any question that your midwife should have medical training? Good, advanced medical training?

Apparently, yes. I had no idea that my ideas about giving birth were being tainted out in the world by a bunch of lay-midwife wackaloons and their patients, all of whom seem to think that pesky things like "certification" and "regulation" are just The Man keeping them down.

I know perfectly well that it is nonsense to say "homebirth is safe," and I'll tell you why: It contains the phrase "birth is safe." It's not. It's inherently dangerous, for mother and for child. It's not unreasonable to claim that the day of birth is the riskiest day in the first 18 years of life. Giving birth has slaughtered women since the dawn of time.

That being said, here's what homebirth can be: A reasonably safe alternative for healthy women with low-risk, uncomplicated pregnancies, who are attended by a trained medical professional, and who are not facing serious geographical constraints should the need to get to a hospital arise. Because the degree of risk is calculated for each individual circumstance -- and heaven only knows what kind of variable the self-selection of homebirth mothers presents -- there's never going to be a definitive study to back up this statement. There is plenty of data to garner evidence from, however.

I'm very concerned about how this tempered belief, one that acknowledges and accepts a certain low-grade risk in order to privilege the mother's decisions, is being conflated with any and all homebirth proponents.

Since I personally don't see myself giving birth at home, I actually don't know what the reasons to choose a homebirth would be. On the other hand, I'm completely certain that there are a lot of silly reasons to have a homebirth. Iatrogenic complications are one bad reason (shouldn't we be trying to reduce all iatrogenesis, rather than fleeing medical facilities?). The absurdly high C-section rate is another stupid reason; the rate needs to be examined and reduced regardless of where women are giving birth. A third stupid reason is the desire to have a VBAC. There's legitimate risk to a VBAC. If an OB won't preside over yours, consider the possibility that she or he actually knows the risk to be unacceptable in your case.

There's also a serious naturalistic fallacy going on in homebirth circles. "Homebirth" is being used to signal a philosophy of escaping intervention, rather than having appropriate medical assistance delivered in the home. And that's just fucking stupid. Women are not designed to give birth; there is no "design." There are at least two evolutionary imperatives that conflict -- selection favored both babies with big heads and women with small pelvises. Yowch. The whole circa-1812-chic some homebirth circles have going on is pure fantasy.

I can't help but feel that I'm made to look stupid by proponents of indiscriminate homebirth. After all, I like my CNM a lot, and I know how draconian some hospitals can be. It's right and good to give women power and control of their reproduction, from abortion to contraception to birth. But when people throw out medical standards and turn doctors into the enemy, no one is served. I will not thank you for lumping me in with those wackaloons.

Some Tedious Philosophizing

2011-08-29T16:57:00.005-04:00

There are many fine things in life that do not, in fact, deserve to be goals in and of themselves.

Reading, for example. Many people find reading to be entertaining, relaxing, or educational, and seeing reading as one or more of these things is desirable. If reading doesn't fulfill you, it will at least make your life easier. That being said, the idea that everyone must learn to love reading is as absurd as forcing everyone to love macaroni and cheese. Literacy may well be a silver bullet, but there are too many well-meaning liberals who seem to take an all-or-nothing approach, confusing the necessity of literacy with what can merely be a choice in recreation.

I strongly dislike this approach because of my personal experiences. Yes, I love reading, but I know too many intelligent people who feel shame for disliking it. They are capable readers. They pursue topics that interest them. They'd just rather do something else. I think that's okay.

Another example is forgiveness. Forgiveness is a worthy pursuit. It's just not the point. Forgiveness can take place in service of love or of peace, in which case it's a wonderful thing. But the expectation to forgive, the pressure to forgive (even falsely), is a serious weight that someone who has been deeply wronged should not be expected to carry. Forgiveness does not serve itself when it comes from atop a high horse. Forgiveness does not serve anyone when it is pursued at the expense of redress. If it is easier for a victim of a violent crime to not forgive, I believe the victim has the right to take that path, and I question religions that basically require victims to forgive or else to feel immense guilt about their lack thereof. Is it really Christian (for example) to tell a woman that she should forgive her rapist, or to tell a father to forgive the man who murdered his son? Why would you force that obligation on someone who is already suffering? That is why I say, forgiveness in the service of love or peace, but not for its own sake.

Maybe, Maybe Not

2011-08-28T01:40:00.003-04:00

A couple weeks back, I began reading Jim Butcher's Dresden Files. The start of this new addiction happened to coincide with the thirteenth book of the series topping the NYTimes bestseller list, but I picked up the first book for unrelated reasons. (Friend named Kurt. All his fault.)

The series is about a blue-collar wizard named Harry Dresden. He works as a private investigator in Chicago and has lots of zany adventures involving impossible odds, certain death, and geeky references. He's a trip. I'm loving the series, which I'm about two-thirds of the way through.

The character Dresden has one particular personality quirk that confuses me. I haven't any idea what Butcher is reaching for when he writes about Dresden's self-deprecating chivalry. The books are written in the first person, and in every single book, some version of the thought "I guess I'm a chauvinist pig, but I hate to see women get hurt" shows up.

Now, maybe it's supposed to be ironic and I'm just missing the boat. On the other hand, maybe it's a legitimate to ask why this refrain keeps showing up. Is Harry Dresden a chauvinist pig? Does Butcher actually think that Dresden needs to own up to sexism?

I don't see it. Dresden's cop buddy is a woman. His apprentice is a woman, and his apprentice's mother is a force of nature. The head of a particular group of wizards he belongs to -- basically, his commanding officer -- is a woman. He's haunted by a badass female demon who is older than time and his ex-girlfriend is strong enough to resist being turned into a vampire. His high school sweetheart is as powerful as he is but has a great deal more grace, and the most powerful creatures I've encountered so far in the series, the Fairy Queens, are all women.

Dresden has no reason to see himself as the protector of the women in his life, and maybe that's why he feels guilt when he has protective urges. The guilt would be understandable if the scope of the story was Dresden's immediate social circle, but it isn't. The backdrop is Chicago. The people he needs to help aren't all gifted with amazing power. Sometimes he needs to rescue random people who have been used or abused, and he gets angry. He gets angry when the victims are men; he just gets angrier when the victims are women.

And I can't see my way clear to thinking it's a bad thing.

We live in a rape culture. Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women between the ages of 15 and 44. As many as 1 in 3 women will be sexually assaulted during her lifetime. The institutions that are supposed to be there to protect victims, quite simply, aren't.

Into this environment waltzes a fantasy hero who thinks harming women is a cardinal sin. Well, gee. I'd better hurry up an write an angry letter to the Lord Mayor of Nothingville.

It's not sexist to not want to hurt women. It's good to not want to hurt women. Maybe if there were more fictional characters (and their creators) taking a stand against violence against women, rape culture wouldn't be so deeply entrenched.

In the interest of full disclosure, Jim Butcher's writing has some problems with objectification. But it's nothing special. At the very least, Harry Dresden himself has nothing to apologize for.

Why I'm a UU

2011-08-22T20:04:00.003-04:00

It can all be summarized in a moment from church yesterday morning.

The church FH and I belong to (doncha love knowing an atheist couple that belongs to a church? The nickname of the church is 1U) is about to start offering a second service on Sunday mornings. This new offering happens to coincide with 1U's centennial. For the first time in quite a few years, 1U will actually have room to grow, and because of this, the minister, board, and lay leaders are really stepping up the effort to "exemplify liberal religion in Central Florida." We're exemplifying it so well that last month we were picketed.

Yesterday morning, Reverend Kathy delivered a sermon on the Sufi parable of the legless fox, who survived through the good fortune of eating the tiger's leftovers. In the parable, a man sees this and says, "How wonderful that G-d should provide for even the legless fox! I will sit here and wait to be fed." After days of waiting, the man heard a voice telling him, "Foolish child. You're meant to be the tiger, not the fox."

As individuals, we have days where we're meant to be the tiger, and we have days where we (through no fault of our own, whatever our society might be telling us) have to be the fox. Reverend K. acknowledged this, but went on to say that, as a community, we can and should be the tiger all the time. She listed a number of ways in which 1U is already contributing to the community and ways we will in the future. Then she listed the people who should know about our community: gay teens who need their identities affirmed, women who need their rights affirmed, groups that come to town looking for allies...

"And," she said, "when protesters want to object to tolerance and reason and love, they should know to come here."

I wish I'd had the time to commit her exact words to memory, but I was swept up in the thunderous applause.

The 200-some people who clapped until their hands tingled are the reason this atheist is a Unitarian Universalist.

In Defense of Not Being Hungry

2011-08-19T15:00:00.006-04:00

Oh, celebrity chefs. Why do we bother?

I don't like Paula Deen and I don't like Anthony Bourdain, so I don't much care that they are feuding. What I resent is coverage of this feud as if Bourdain has a point when he says, and I quote: "I would think twice before telling an already obese nation that it is OK to eat food that is killing us." The Yahoo article calls this "tough, provocative...legitimate, thought-provoking," but too mean to Paula Deen.

I take the exact opposite position. Go ahead and be mean to Paula Deen. Deep fried butter deserves all the culinary ribbing it takes. But Bourdain's comments are ill-conceived at best and intellectually dishonest at worst.

In other words, I think he's full of shit.

America, country of the wealthy, suffers from food deserts. A 2009 USDA report found that 2.3 million American households live farther than a mile from a supermarket and don't have access to a vehicle. You know what you do when you can't get to a supermarket? You shop at a convenience store, which not only provides highly-processed "junk" food (will come back to the idea of "junk" in a minute), but also charges a considerable markup over supermarket prices. That effectively slashes the amount of food you can buy, forcing you to buy the highest concentrations of calories to keep from being hungry.

As for junk food, I'm turning against this moniker, because junk is a classist construct. As a quote from the Wiki article I linked to states, "Energy-dense [junk foods] cost on average $1.76 per 1,000 calories, compared with $18.16 per 1,000 calories for low-energy but nutritious foods" (from a 2008 journal article). Think about this: Healthy food costs 10 times as much.

If your choice is between soda for breakfast and being hungry, drink the empty calories. Hell, if your choice is between deep fried butter and going hungry, more power to the Paula Deens of this world.

This isn't a problem for Bourdain to solve. It isn't a problem for Michelle Obama and her organic garden to solve, either. It's not something that shouting about an "obesity crises" or pushing for more kids to take gym will help, not even remotely.

We act like there's a moral crisis around what people choose to eat, when the real immorality lies in the options people are forced to choose from.

Don't Assume

2011-08-14T17:19:00.003-04:00

FH got an interview invitation today from a private Christian school, to which he did not send a resume. The email basically read, "Please be our math teacher. We assume you're a practicing Christian, of course."

The place of privilege that email came from makes me want to tear my hair out.

Iowa Straw Poll

2011-08-13T22:57:00.004-04:00

For reasons passing understanding, the GOP straw poll is being called "the first big test" of the Republican primary. Considering that the real-world impact of this straw poll is approximately nothing, zip, zilch, and nada, I'm totally unimpressed that Michele Bachmann has been elected Lord Mayor of Nothingville.

It's much more interesting that conservatives are shrieking about how sexist it is to question Bachmann on her sexist beliefs. (This is very similar to when conservatives try to claim that tolerance of intolerance is a virtue, or that no one can be truly tolerant if they oppose intolerance.) To which I say, question further. Don't let her get away with claiming that by "submissive wife" she meant "respectful marriage." She freakin' meant submissive wife.

The Most Terrible Thing You'll Ever Read

2011-08-12T22:13:00.004-04:00

The title is not hyperbole, nor is it of the "arg! that evil politician" variety. This is, I think, literally the most terrible, heart-breaking story ever. It's not a set-up for a joke. It's bad enough that I'm telling you: If you're feeling emotional, for the love of G-d, don't read the rest of this post.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

As anyone who pays attention to international news knows, there's a famine in Somalia, and 29,000 children under age 5 have died in there in the past three months. The U.N. estimates that 2.8 million of the 12 million people suffering in East Africa are in need of immediate lifesaving assistance.

People are trying to escape the famine on foot, walking for weeks to reach a refugee camp. When food and water run out and a child collapses, the only way parents have to save any other children is to keep moving.

They are leaving their children to die.

Wardo Mohamud Yusuf walked for two weeks with her 1-year-old daughter on her back and her 4-year-old son at her side to flee Somalia's drought and famine. When the boy collapsed near the end of the journey, she poured some of the little water she had on his head to cool him, but he was unconscious and could not drink.

She asked other families traveling with them for help, but none stopped, fearful for their own survival.

Then the 29-year-old mother had to make a choice that no parent should have to make.

"Finally, I decided to leave him behind to his God on the road," Yusuf said days later in an interview at a teeming refugee camp in Dadaab, Kenya.

There is absolutely nothing that I can say that is a worthy comment on this story, other than to bless the pure chance that has saved me from ever needing to make that choice.

Thoughts on Marriage

2011-08-10T14:52:00.003-04:00

Back in '03-'04, the radically radical and unelectable Howard Dean was all kinds of vilified for standing up for civil unions. Everyone gets the same rights, he said. If states want to expand the definition of marriage, that's their business.

And I admit it: I repeated the talking point. Later in '04, I repeated it for John Kerry. It made sense to me politically. Hell, it made sense personally; the gayest gay activist I knew was still bad-mouthing gay marriage during the 2006 elections, and even though I had come around, I wasn't about to tell him his life.

By early 2007, though, I was throwing down the gauntlet. I took a class called "Philosophy of Law." For the final, we were divided into teams and asked to make the case (in a sort of pseudo-moot-court setting) for or against gay marriage from the point of view of a randomly selected philosophy studied in class. I don't remember which philosophy we drew. I do remember that I, not my gay teammate, was the one who wrangled the five straight dudes and got everyone on board for unapologetic advocacy of gay marriage.

So what changed between 2003 and 2007? The world shifted politically, it's true. Maybe the wars fading from consciousness allowed social issues to take a more prominent role; I certainly remember feeling, in '03, that many things could be forgiven for a candidate who opposed invading Iraq. I wasn't feeling so generous when the primary season for the 2008 presidential began.

I do feel that the personal changes I went through during those years were more important than the political changes, however.

When you're young and starting college, if you're like me, you're straight with gay friends, and the gay friends seem exactly like you. They are puttering around and dating the wrong people and questioning the society they are about to join as full adults. They don't want to get married, because they haven't found anyone they want to be married to. I totally get that; I didn't want to be married, either, because up until I met FH, an empty and lonely life seemed preferable to all likely candidates. The thought of marrying someone other than FH still seems perfectly ghastly.

But at some point, a girl you know moves in with another girl. And maybe they adopt a cat. And maybe it happens slowly, or maybe it's a lightning bolt, but eventually you realize that they are going to spend their lives together. From deep inside you, from a place of empathy and love, comes the realization: "That's a marriage." And at that point, the idea of denying anyone what you yourself want to have some day seems so fucking cruel that it immediately jumps to the level of Litmus Test.

This isn't precisely the story of what happened to me. Honestly, I don't remember exactly who or what influenced my progression. I remember that it was like I just described -- that one day, the defenders of "traditional marriage" just seemed so mean and stupid and offensive that I wasn't willing to cede ground any longer. No one gets to dictate to others what the best and most meaningful way to love is, least of all someone like Rick Santorum.

In short, I grew up a little, and realized that, in the adult world, marriage matters a lot more than it did to me when I was a baby student.

I'm in a slightly different place now. I'm getting married three months from Friday. Getting married has made me a fiercer advocate for marriage equality. Just as I wouldn't join a restricted country club, I can't participate in an exclusionary institution without making extra-loud noise about how unfair my privilege is. My love is no better -- no purer, no more moral, no truer -- than the love of someone else, and I am deeply offended that anyone would presume to tell me it is.

By an accident of genetics, I'm a woman attracted to men. By an accident of genetics, FH is a man drawn to women. We are not champions of a traditional ideal and make no claims on that heritage. What we are is two adults in love who believe very strongly that our privileges should be extended to any and all two adults in love. If our marriage stands for anything, let it stand for that. Let us stand on the side of love.

What I've Been Reading

2011-08-10T01:48:00.003-04:00

I haven't had time to blog about all of these things, but there's no reason you shouldn't read these articles anyway.

1.) "In Praise of Joanne Rowling's Hermione Granger Series." Too awesome:

And there we have it: The defining hero of our age is a girl who saves the day with her egalitarianism, love of learning, hard work, and refusal to give way to peer pressure. It's hard to think of the Hermione Granger series as anything other than flawless. And yet — as fans constantly point out — there is a very big flaw in the series. You know who I'm talking about; it's He Who Must Not Be Named, but we spell it H-A-R-R-Y.

The character of Harry Potter is an obnoxious error in the Hermione Granger universe, made more obnoxious by his constant presence. It's tempting to just write Harry off as a love interest who didn't quite work out; the popular-yet-brooding jock is hardly an unfamiliar type. And, given that Hermione is constantly having to rescue Harry, he does come across as a sort of male damsel-in-distress.

Hehe.

2.) Study: "Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury to women aged 15 to 44." Adds a new flavor to the common knowledge that "most accidents occur in the home," doesn't it?

3.) The teabaggers are the same old radical southern right, just trying a new strategy.

4.) Jobs were missing from the debt ceiling debate (as I'm sure you noticed).

5.) And xkcd, because this strip is awesome.

Matthew 7:16

2011-08-10T01:36:00.002-04:00

Consider that verse as you read over these death threats.

I sure would like to hear some Christian leaders denouncing this crap. Of course, many are just as violent as the Facebook posters, in their own way.

Two Stories

2011-08-09T20:12:00.005-04:00

Presented together, for your consideration.

One: Rick Santorum says that marriage is marriage and gay marriage is like incest, not like marriage. The incest crap is to be expected; this is Senator Man-on-Dog we're talking about here. The strange part is where he seriously tries to define marriage by the inherent qualities of marriage, comparing it to a...napkin. As opposed to a paper towel. Because there's a world of difference between the two and they have absolutely no functions in common.

I think Rick Santorum needs to be schooled by Grover.

Two: "Gay married couple loses immigration battle."

Bradford Wells, a U.S. citizen, and Anthony John Makk, a citizen of Australia, were married seven years ago in Massachusetts. They have lived together 19 years, mostly in an apartment in the Castro district. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services denied Makk's application to be considered for permanent residency as a spouse of an American citizen, citing the 1996 law that denies all federal benefits to same-sex couples.

The decision was issued July 26. Immigration Equality, a gay-rights group that is working with the couple, received the notice Friday and made it public Monday. Makk was ordered to depart the United States by Aug. 25. Makk is the sole caregiver for Wells, who has severe health problems [AIDS].

This is not an academic issue, or, as Rick Santorum would call it, a "metaphysical" issue. DOMA causes legitimate harm, and there is no reason on Earth why it should do so.

People who are convinced that their goddamn moral comfort has to come before the well-being of other people are, I'm sure, reserved a special place in hell.

Good Dog!

2011-08-09T19:05:00.007-04:00

A 15-year-old girl was raped and impregnated by her father, and a therapy dog helped her to testify. That's a very good dog. (NYTimes article warning: It's an interesting article but spend your 20 freebies wisely.)

The defense is appealing on the grounds that the dog can't be cross-examined -- essentially, that the dog demonstrates the witness is under stress, but can't be asked if the stress is from lying or from testifying against her father/rapist. I'm mad because those two things -- telling a lie and confronting a massive personal betrayal and violent crime -- are not equivalent. Pretending that they are equivalent, that the two reactions could be easily confused, is just fucked up. (We're talking about the difference between PTSD and momentary discomfort; don't let your own uncertainty of what PTSD looks like confuse you.)

Furthermore, I say: There are other ways to counter the perception that a therapy dog is JUST SO CUTE we have to rule in its favor (which, I think, is what this is really about).

"8: The Mormon Proposition"

2011-08-03T16:57:00.003-04:00

I just finished watching 8: The Mormon Proposition, which is available streaming on Netflix. It covers the LDS involvement in Prop 8, starting with the anti-marriage-equality tactics the Mormon church developed in Hawaii in 1996-97. There's an explanation of the National Organization for Marriage's LDS origins. Anti-gay Mormons, gay Mormons, former Mormons, and Mormon allies are all interviewed. There's also a segment on gay suicides and "reparative therapy" -- both of which, unfortunately, the LDS church thinks of as good things. (Better to be dead than queer, see.)

I'd recommend the documentary, but be forewarned that the hate speech is of the straight-up, uncensored variety. Mormons are truly some of the biggest homophobes around, and they are fast friends with many of the rest.

Today's Best Headline

2011-08-03T16:54:00.004-04:00

"Giant Rat Kills Predators with Poisonous Hair."

It's a freaking awesome rat. The 14-inch-long African crested rat slathers itself with poison from a plant, and its hair is structured to absorb the poison. Try to eat the rat and experience something nasty.

This is Not Compromise, II

2011-08-01T22:00:00.002-04:00

"Boehner: I got 98 percent of what I wanted."

Toddlers -- those are the small humans, under age 3 -- believe that it's "fair" when they get their way 90% of the time. Even by a toddler's definition, the compromise is 8% away from being "fair." So for fuck's sake, stop calling it a compromise. Call it what it is: a political catastrophe and economic disaster (clicking on the link will spend one of your 20 free NYTimes articles, so unless you really like Krugman's commentary, as I do, proceed with caution).

Even the "balanced" commentary from Yahoo admits that this deal means unemployment will be higher than it otherwise would have been.

This is Not Compromise

2011-08-01T13:55:00.003-04:00

This is complete intellectual surrender. It's also lots and lots of political surrender.

There are two problems with the ridiculous idea that the threat of future cuts in the defense budget will compel Republicans to cooperate during the "supercommittee" phase that has to cut another $1.5 trillion from the debt. One, I don't think the teabaggers care about defense spending. Two, cuts from the bloated defense budget are not morally equal to cuts from domestic programs.

If I was the president, I would have used the constitutional option. The White House should never have taken that off the table.

If I was the US Mint, I would have issued two $1 trillion coins (there's no limit on coinage), deposited them, and started writing checks. This was Krugman's idea, and I think it's brilliant.

If I was a Democratic member of Congress, I would not vote for this deal, which is launching a torpedo at the lower- and middle-classes. If you want to burn this country down, do it without me.

A Non-Debt Deal News Roundup

2011-07-30T15:14:00.003-04:00

June was the bloodiest month in the past two years for the US military in Iraq.

Florida's draconian drug law -- the only one in the country to not require knowledge that you possess a controlled substance in order to be convicted -- has been found unconstitutional by a federal judge.

The CIA has secret prisons in Somalia. There's a shocker.

If you still think that "finding yourself" is a good goal for college, try a different state; in Florida, you'll be penalized for earning more credits than are required for graduation. How many freshman know what they want to do with their lives and don't change their minds once they continue to learn? Sheesh.

Oh, also, X-Men: First Class was entertaining, but not as good as Thor.

Economic Hostage Crisis

2011-07-29T12:21:00.004-04:00

FH has crafted, I believe, the perfect explanation of the debt ceiling negotiations. Ahem:

"Republicans are like thugs who have taken a bunch of hostages. Democrats have already promised to give a hundred million dollars and private jet to Acapulco in exchange for the hostages, but Republicans are demanding that when they reach Acapulco, they get the hostages back. So Obama says, 'Let's be reasonable and compromise...they can have half of the hostages back.' Because 'compromise' is Obama's special kind of insanity."

Mr. President, don't negotiate...act.

Promised Follow-Up

2011-07-26T07:34:00.002-04:00

Reason Rally is no longer only promising white dude speakers.

Now, to transcend tokenism...

Most Useful YouTube Clip Ever

2011-07-26T01:31:00.002-04:00

Jean-Luc Picard presents...the Epic Double Facepalm.

I am so going to be using this video from now on.

Let's Be Clear

2011-07-25T16:22:00.006-04:00

1a. I'm not offended that you might be a theist.

1b. I am offended if you believe that you are entitled to feel affronted by my atheism.

2a. I'm not offended if you choose to eat meat.

2b. I am offended if you indicate that I'm not allowed to privately feel that your eating meat is a less-than-good choice.

3a. I'm not offended if you had a traditional wedding.

3b. I am offended if you feel that my nontraditional wedding should be as quietly nontraditional as possible, lest my reasoning cause distress to traditional sensibilities.

4a. I'm not offended if you are friends with someone I don't like.

4b. I am offended if that friendship causes problems in other relationships.

5a. I'm not offended if you haven't been exposed to an idea I believe to be important.

5b. I am offended if you dismiss the idea out of hand.

6a. I'm not offended if you don't want good to be the enemy of perfect.

6b. I am offended if you judge me for deciding that sometimes "good" is such a low bar I can hardly look at it.

This list may be continued at a later time.

I Don't Like Prosecutors

2011-07-25T02:12:00.003-04:00

Since I'm starting to get a rep for saying, "Prosecutors! Filthy people! We shall speak of them no more! (spit)," accompanied by appropriate gesticulation, I figure it's time to tell my side of the story.

The hate-affair began with my first Democratic party activism, many moons ago. Judicial races are, of course, non-partisan; however, if you get off your duff and participate -- particularly at the level of local politics -- you start to realize that this "non-partisan" gag is 100% bullshit in every meaningful sense. The political parties might not be involved, but in central Florida, judges are moderates, conservatives, or ultra-conservatives. I had what could be considered a "partisan" stake in the matter. The judicial candidates with the really icky positions, the really icky campaigns, the reeeeally icky endorsements, all seemed to be former prosecutors. Strike one.

Then I became a fire-breathing feminist, went to university, and learned about all the ways in which prosecutors are the opponents of rape victims. This struck a chord. In college I also learned about the race and class biases exhibited by prosecutors across the country. Writing a thesis in which I essentially demanded more of prosecutors felt squicky, because I knew it could be interpreted as asking for a bias in favor of prosecutors. This is not what I want. From the prosecutors, I want the number of prosecutions for rape to go up, and I want them to handle victims with greater care. (I also want things from judges and juries, but reform is not the topic of this post.) And I don't want them to worry about their stats; that's one of the incentives, in a state like Florida, to gun for the death penalty (so to speak). All of this, taken together, counts as strike two.

Strike three: When I started making noise about going to law school, I met a number of would-be prosecutors. They were the type of people who use the phrase "everyone is guilty of something" in cold blood. When you meet someone like that, the best thing to do is to proceed calmly to the emergency exit. If the speaker elaborates, and maybe throws in a couple of lines in which he or she denies the flaws in the system, don't walk, RUN, and don't stop to grab the cannoli.

We're out of strikes, but we're not really playing baseball, so there's a bonus round. Here it is: The Casey Anthony trial is probably the newest case of prosecutorial misconduct. Looks like the prosecution knew the evidence for premeditation was bogus. As Mike Thomas points out in his commentary, if Casey Anthony had been found guilty, the prosecution had surely sown the seeds of a reversal. This is hardly the only famous example of prosecutorial misconduct.

The coup de grâce to my rant is the data supplied by the Innocence Project. Because innocence, dude. Prosecutors don't deal with it much and don't necessarily recognize it when they see it. While the problem is with the whole adversarial system, there's something to be said for the spectacular failures of the prosecuting entities. Can't just gloss over that because it's politically popular to be "tough on crime" (and seriously, when is that dinosaur going extinct?).

There's always pressure, in a post like this, to apologize to any exceptions being lumped in with the baddies. I'm not going to apologize, mainly because there's a major onus on the "good" prosecutors to manage the bad ones. The state's conduct needs to be impeccable. It rarely is.

Norway

2011-07-22T23:52:00.003-04:00

At least 7 are dead from a blast in downtown Oslo and at least 80 more (from what I've heard, all young adults?) were killed in a shooting spree on the island of Utoya. The gunman was taken alive so maybe we'll get some answers, but right now it doesn't look like there's much of a motive behind this attack. What it looks like is wanton slaughter -- Norway's Columbine, only so much worse.

There's no where on Earth that deserves this much grief. My heart goes out to the families of the victims.

Like Counting Sheep...

2011-07-20T16:17:00.004-04:00

Last night, I was lying in bed, counting something I find extremely relaxing: the number of diseases that I'm not going to get.

Over the course of my life, I've been vaccinated for mumps, measles, rubella, hepatitis A, hepatitis B, tetanus, diphtheria, pertussis, and HPV, at least -- likely there are some I've forgotten about. And I had childhood chicken pox without complications, so no worries there, but I like to know that there is a VZV immunization. Thanks to vaccinations, polio has never been a part of my life; if I was a believer, I'd go down on my knees and thank G-d for Jonas Salk. I don't worry about small pox, either.

Vaccinations might be humanity's single greatest achievement.

I hate that a Google search for the non-descriptive term "vaccines" pulls up the wackadoos as high as item #3 (after the CDC and the Wikipedia entry). I hate that kids are getting sick when they don't have to.

Vaccinations might be humanity's single greatest achievement.

This is why, when I see articles claiming that good parents question vaccines, or that "I don't want a live virus shot into my body," or that the science on the efficacy and safety of vaccines "isn't in yet," I could practically cry.

Watch Out: New Buzzwords Arisin'

2011-07-12T16:12:00.006-04:00

"Preborn children:" Calling a fetus merely "unborn" isn't cutting it for the anti-choicers. This new terminology is meant to make it sound like birth is an incidental event; you practically have preschools in your uteri, women! Also, women are stupid and do not know that a pregnancy could result in the birth of a child.

"Natural death:" So-called pro-lifers have always felt that people should be forced to continue to live even when they are suffering through meaningless existences full of pain and medical procedures, and they've realized that the touted "conception to death" line doesn't make that clear enough. Natural death is a fine thing, but not if it comes at the expense of a peaceful death or a death with dignity.

Which is Worse?

2011-07-11T19:10:00.002-04:00

Evil pretending to be stupid, or stupid pretending to be evil?

Simulacra and the Wedding-Industrial Complex

2011-07-10T15:56:00.001-04:00

I once noted on Facebook that studying Baudrillard in college is like getting an STD: it starts out fun but afterwards you're less popular.

I flatter myself that, having only read excerpts of Simulacra and Simulation in various classes, I'm less repellant than someone with a full-on case of syphilis, but I realize I'm taking a risk by blogging on this subject. Be forewarned that I take my postmodernism in double shots, straight up.

Baudrillard's commentary is highly debatable, but his description of the progression of simulacra was, honest to Oprah, the first thing I thought of when I started reading about wedding photography. You can read the Wikipedia article linked above for a decent summary of his ideas, or you can just trust my uber-simplified version:

There are levels of simulation. The first level is the faithful copy. It reflects reality and we can acknowledge that fact. The second step is the unfaithful copy, which can convey something about reality if you take it with a grain of salt. The third stage is the copy with no original. The simulacrum claims to represent what does not, in fact, exist in reality. And stage four, pure simulation, gives me a headache: there is no reality except for simulacra. (That's where the social commentary becomes tetchy, the claim that the human experience has replaced reality with simulation.)

Wedding-industrial complex photography is stage three simulacra all over. It's the copy with no original.

The FH and I have made an interesting choice about our wedding: no professional photography. We'll have a friend take some group pictures and encourage people to be camera-happy at our reception, and that's all.

This in itself is not particularly interesting. What's interesting is that the no-photographer decision puts me (and just me, because I am The Bride) so far out into left field that even the most offbeat of the Offbeat Bride Tribe don't really know what to do with me.

I'm not the only person, though, to advance a critique of wedding photography, even if I'm desperately alone in my choice to opt-out. On page 126 of Kate Cohen's book A Walk Down the Aisle:

"These people have their arms around each other and are staring into the sun for no other reason than that someone is taking their photograph...

"Portraits at least point to their own artificiality: we know that the moment caught on film is a moment about being caught on film, and nothing else, nothing 'real.'"

Sound much like Baudrillard's stage three?

On page 128, then on page 130:

"[A photographer] also writes about how to 'create a salable memory.' I was shocked at first by the bald word salable, but then I realized that what was wrong with the phrase was really the idea of creating memories. The photographs are supposed to become out memories."

"Those demure photographs of my parents dressing [for their wedding] in separate rooms did not so much reflect their real relationship as create its ideal."

And you can imagine how I feel about that.

Thank you to the people who have supported our decision so far: My mom and step-dad, and FH's and my friend Kurt. Also our friend Justin (group-shot guy) and my sister (who promises to take a picture of every inanimate object we have at our wedding).

White House Fantasy World

2011-07-08T14:28:00.004-04:00

"Top Obama adviser says unemployment won't be key in 2012."

And a leprechaun bar mitzvah!

See what I just did there? I just made more sense with a sentence fragment about an imaginary creature than David Plouffe made about unemployment.

Remember when Democrats were the reality-based party?

AmericaBlog says:

Yes, can't feed the kids, can't pay the mortgage, but thank God the long-term deficit will be under control in 2024.

Shakes says:

"HOLY SHIT UNEMPLOYMENT IS SO HIGH AND THE ECONOMY IS SO BAD AND I AM SO SCARED FOR OUR COUNTRY," says everyone I know including millionaires who are eminently willing to pay more taxes because they are not garbage monsters.

And Krugman:

Just to say what should be obvious: unemployment is extremely high by historical standards, while interest rates are very low. Yet unemployment has almost disappeared from policy discussion, which is preoccupied with the need to appease hypothetical bond vigilantes.

Awesome.

I Called It, Yo

2011-07-07T11:38:00.004-04:00

People should just start trusting me. Not only was it obvious that the state couldn't get a guilty verdict, I called the sentencing (on the four counts of lying to investigators) before the verdict was even announced (with family, over 4th of July dinner, so no link but about five witnesses).

Now I would officially like to stop giving a damn about this trial.

The White Dudes

2011-07-06T11:01:00.006-04:00

I was interested in attending the Reason Rally in DC (coming up 3/24/12), but then I looked at the speakers and thought, "Wow, thems a lot of white dudes." (No offense meant to James Randi or PZ Myers. A little bit of offense meant to Richard Dawkins.)

I've never been shown evidence that the skeptical community is entirely made up of white dudes, so it baffles me (except it doesn't, because I've met patriarchy before) every time one of these conferences/rallies comes along and tries to practice white male privilege to the hilt.

I'll be keeping an eye on the lineup.

Posthumous Rehabilitation

2011-07-04T09:00:00.000-04:00

By Tadeusz Rozewicz
Translated by Adam Czerniawski

The dead have remembered
our indifference
The dead have remembered
our silence
The dead have remembered
our words

The dead see our snouts
laughing from ear to ear
The dead see
our bodies rubbing against each other
The dead hear
clucking tongues

The dead read our books
listen to our speeches
delivered so long ago

The dead scrutinize our lectures
join in previously terminated
discussions
The dead see our hands
poised for applause

The dead see stadiums
ensembles and choirs declaiming rhythmically

all the living are guilty

little children
who offered bouquets of flowers
are guilty
lovers are guilty
guilty are poets

those who were saying yes
those who said no

and those who said nothing

the dead are taking stock of the living
the dead will not rehabilitate us

Still [hearting] NY

2011-06-29T18:54:00.002-04:00

I can't believe that this illustration is at least seven years old; it's so perfect for NY's marriage equality victory.

Roe, the Right, and the Left

2011-06-29T18:12:00.015-04:00

Amanda on legitimate threats to Roe. I'm particularly drawn to point out her analysis of the culture war aspect:

But if you believe, as I do, that the religious right are in fact a bunch of culture warriors for whom abortion has become a symbol of all their resentments about sex and women's liberation, then you have to assume that not only would they not pack up and go home after abortion is banned, but that they would be emboldened to start demanding more, which works out really well for Republican organizers. Imagine Roe is overturned. Will women's hemlines start cascading downwards, will women quit their jobs en masse to become housewives, will teenagers quit fucking, will women who carry to term while single give up their babies for adoption now, will cohabitating couples get married, will half the adult women who are living without a spouse now renege and get married? No. Banning abortion actually does nothing to change any of these things that the religious right hates, because none of these are caused by abortion rights. Hell, women will still be getting abortions. The religious right gets that the fight is only just beginning, and already they're moving on to Phase II: Attack on Contraception. That's what all this Planned Parenthood shit is about. The widespread enthusiasm for attacking Planned Parenthood shows that anti-choicers will switch off from abortion to contraception without missing a beat.

This is all very important.

Problematically, the comments degrade into a flame war over who is to blame for Roe's imperilment, Nader-voters or Democrats. I'm not getting involved because I subscribe to two novel ideas:

1.) Roe is in danger because of an inherently violent ideology that promotes the subjugation of women. There are individuals specifically out to promote that ideology, and then there are people who are naive and don't believe the first group of individuals exists. Both groups are damaging to women and their allies. SCOTUS is a sideshow when you consider Roe's fate in this culture-wide context. How could Ginsberg's replacement or Kennedy's secret agenda possibly matter as much as all the ordinary schmucks who don't see a problem with coercing women?

2.) Piling on pro-choicers who make votes of conscience (i.e. Nader over Gore) is fucking unhelpful. There's a spectrum of voting philosophies and it isn't my business which one you subscribe to; I'm entitled to advocate for my position, and then I'm entitled to use my vote however I see fit. Same goes for everyone else. And yeah, I'll tell you that voting for Nader in 2000 was a mistake, but no more so than voting for Bush was, and since a lot more people voted for Bush than Nader, I'm choosing to be pissed at the Bush voters.

Hooray 29!

2011-06-27T02:04:00.002-04:00

June 27 is the love of my life's 29th birthday.

Happy birthday, husband-elect!

Draft Anybody, '12

2011-06-27T01:43:00.000-04:00

I don't believe, as a general thing, that trying to draft candidates is a good idea. If they have the motivation/money/connections/ego to run, they run. A draft movement never amounts to much, and people who believe their draftee will magically be elected are extremely annoying.

But here's where the practically non-existent 2012 Democratic presidential primary is different from previous elections. Obama isn't going to really be challenged in the primary -- not a chance. This year, any real campaign is just as hopeless and ridiculous as a draft movement another year. That doesn't mean the primary season has to go to waste (you know I love a good primary season); instead, it means that drafting is the way to go, because that's a consciousness raising campaign and it doesn't need a real live candidate.

Take me. I'm a Gore fangirl, and I know that Al Gore isn't going to run for president again. But read "Climate of Denial" and tell me that "draft Gore" doesn't flash across your eyes.

Or consider Howard Dean. Dean was my first love. To this day I will argue with you that Dean could have won the election that Kerry lost. And I have no problem with the Democratic Party knowing that I'd rather draft Dean than reelect Obama.

So if anybody hears about some Democrats who want to draft a different candidate, drop me a line. A symbolic gesture in the face of inevitable defeat never hurt anyone.

I [heart] NY

2011-06-25T00:12:00.003-04:00

My favorite thing about the New York Senate vote on marriage equality:

The marriage bill passed the Republican-led Senate by 33-29 and then the Assembly in a 80-63 vote. With this win, the number of Americans living in states with the freedom to marry more than doubles, from 16 million to 35 million.

If this feels good (and it does), imagine how great the inevitable day when this fight ends will feel.

Told Ya So

2011-06-24T01:43:00.009-04:00

Thursday was day 26 of the god-when-is-it-going-to-end Casey Anthony murder trial, and I was finally vindicated for the two-plus years I've spent saying, "Yeah, searching for something on Google and killing a person are sooooo the same thing."

Cindy Anthony said that she's the one who made the searches for "chloroform." May I say: Ha.

Once again (I feel the need to keep saying this while I'm slumming by covering a popular trial), it's not the personalities I care about. It's about a justice system that has to function in spite of every opinionated schmuck who assumed only Casey Anthony had access to the computer, that she searched for "chloroform" with the intention to do harm with the information she found, that she went and purchased the ingredients, that she made the chloroform, and that she used it in an illegal act -- all deduced from the same stupid Google search.

Notice how nicely all that unravels if it was her mother on the computer, or even if it wasn't Cindy but Cindy is lying about it now (because wouldn't that be confusing as heck?). Cindy's testimony doesn't point to anything in and of itself, but it's a nice ego boost for me. Even if she's flat-out lying, the false equivalence of Googling and doing must be contended with.

You'll never convince me that Casey Anthony is guilty of anything less than aggravated manslaughter of a child, but the prosecution is doing a lousy job of convincing me that she's guilty of much more.

July 1 update: So it could appear that Cindy perjured herself. But really, who cares? The point is the false equivalence.

No, I Don't Want That Doctor

2011-06-23T20:18:00.004-04:00

Via Shakes, the Florida Board of Medicine voted 7-3 that a rape conviction is no bar to practicing medicine.

Would you want a convicted rapist as your doctor? In Florida, that's apparently OK, according the the Florida Board of Medicine, which voted Friday to allow a doctor who raped a co-worker to return to medical practice. The board decided being a rapist had nothing to do with being a good doctor.

Personally, I would argue that being a rapist has, literally, EVERYTHING to do with NOT being a good doctor. Patients are vulnerable. Rape is a crime against embodiment. Doctors need to have good judgment and basic compassion. Do I really need to go on?

Oh, and here's where it really gets good:

The state agreed not to put him on formal probation, after Seldes argued that probation might make it hard for him to get a job in the future.

Aw. Who knew being a rapist could hurt your career prospects so much! I see why we need to treat him with kid gloves.

Quotable Quote

2011-06-23T00:03:00.002-04:00

"When I give food to the poor, they call me a saint. When I ask why are they poor, they call me a Communist."

- Dom Hélder Pessoa Câmara, former Archbishop of Olinda and Recife

I Don't Scare So Easily

2011-06-22T03:03:00.005-04:00

David Axelrod said:

"I don't, in any way, doubt that there are those who don't feel like progress has been made fast enough. I have no doubt that there are people with particular issues of concern who feel that way," he said on MSNBC. "But, at the end of the day, I believe that people are going to be fully engaged when this next election comes, because they'll understand exactly what the stakes are."

Dear Mr. Axelrod,

Dude. Are you threatening me? Seriously. You're threatening me with the specter of conservative politicians shoving Republican policies down my throat.

You're going to need to ~~mansplain~~ explain why that's so much worse than having a Democratic administration overseeing the conservative politicians who are shoving Republican policies down my throat.

I know "exactly what the stakes are," because my "particular issues of concern" -- which sound so nice and trivial when you phrase them that way -- involve the lives of women. This administration doesn't get it and has not proven to be an ally to women. There's anti-women legislation in front of every legislature in the nation and the White House can't be bothered to do a damn thing.

I feel like when Bush was president I at least knew who my opponents were. I can't really say the same for the administration of Barack "I was for gay marriage before I was against it before I was for civil unions and now my views are progressing" Obama.

And I feel like when Bush was president, the warmongering was honest. I could count on national addresses on the subject. Nowadays, I have to learn about an escalating clandestine war from reading the papers. President Obama doesn't want to own it.

There are 171 prisoners remaining in detention at Gitmo. The Patriot Act was extended, as were the Bush tax cuts for the rich. Jobs aren't being created. Torture isn't being abolished. Life expectancy is falling and a man had to rob a bank so he could get healthcare in jail. And, oh yeah, Brad Manning is still in prison.

Meanwhile, Joe Biden is out criticizing the government for maintaining websites on native species. Oooooh, there's a $125 that could be put to better use! (Except it couldn't.) Big ticket items. Thanks, Joe.

So I guess what I'm saying, Mr. Axelrod, is that I fart in the general direction of your scare tactics. Whenever we make progress -- which we consistently do, in spite of you professional-Democrat types -- I celebrate, but let's be honest: I already live in an America I'm afraid of.

Cheers.